#01 What Motivates Us In Life? 

Nietzsche said it's power, Freud said we just want to have sex, and Jung declared the ego as commander of our behavior. Power, sex, and control. The things the great philosophers of the last century thought men and women give reason to live. Who was right? Maybe all of them.

Dreamer

In our modern times, entrepreneurs took over from philosophers. Today we have the "with one hand in their jeans-pocket" youngster standing on a stage, telling us that all we need is having a dream and believe in it. To follow our intuition. No matter what. Dream big and go for it.

Sometimes dreams do come true. Steve Jobs' dream of manufacturing delight instead of just making products became a billion-dollar brand. And Mark Zuckerberg's vision to "find some interesting information about other people" can now influence elections.

Freudian Years

In my early to late twenties, I was very fortunate to have had people around me who believed in me and pushed me. In my early thirties, I walked away from all of them.

I walked away because I knew that I don't enjoy competition, I don't seek power, I have a small ego, and big dreams are just for dreamers. So I guess we can call these my Freudian years.

And I loved it.

Until a faint notion peeked around the corner that sex makes stupid. A libidinous brain has only the capacity to think one or two days ahead. Sometimes even just one or two hours. Our sexuality is a heavenly beast. It is a blissful dance between two lovers that ensures the survival of the human species. But if you can't tame the beast in you, heaven will turn into hell pretty soon. When your sexual desire leads to impulsive behavior, you will do stupid things. Guaranteed.

Freud's theory seems to be not sustainable for me. So what is it that motivates me in life?

My favorite time of the day is the morning. I created my life so that the first three hours of my day are mine. And mine alone. I live for those three hours. Every night, when I go to bed, I look forward to my morning routine. I get up before sunrise, drink coffee and get ready to go to the beach. Fresh air, natural sunlight, and the ocean. No people. No talking. Just feeling. Just being.

I especially love the mornings because this is the most "anti-social" time of the day. I have lived for about four years in the same area, see the same people on the beach almost every day, yet I haven't talked with them once. There is a silent mutual agreement between the early risers that we peacefully and respectfully ignore each other. We share the same space, and yet we are alone. "Isolation is the gift", as Charles Bukowski philosophized so beautifully.

My Nature

I am an introvert. And I am an empath. This is my nature. I feel deeply all the time. I take in what's around me with all my heart constantly. I cannot switch this off and therefore had to learn to stay away from bullshit and bullshitters. I had to train myself to walk away from people when they started to bleed me white. This is incredibly hard because you risk losing them for good.

And it is even harder to trust that the people you love will still be there and welcome you when you are ready to return. The ones who are waiting for you with open arms are the ones who genuinely love you.

Fortunately, I have people around me who understand that when I walk away, I don't abandon them, but I recharge my heart and my soul. Isolation is a tool needed to maintain and nurture my true nature. It is a space where I can have conversations with myself. And I need those conversations to process, understand and integrate everything I feel, see and think. I honestly observe, patiently listen, compassionately question, fiercely discuss and debate open-minded with and about myself. That's a hell of a ride, and you don't want to be part of this. So get out of my way and leave me alone until I'm done.

What really motivates me

I recently realized that I don't live for the ocean or surfing, nor for Pilates or teaching. I don't live for my "alone-time" and not for the sunrises. I love all those things, and they keep me physically and mentally healthy, but they are all just a tool to be a reasonable person.

And they are rare. Most people can not listen. For many, listening means waiting for that one cue that signals that it's their turn to talk again. Listening is a lost art. I miss it.

For me, a good conversation can take days, sometimes even weeks.

Anything can happen. It's the most exciting thing for me. And, at the same time, the hardest.

You better know exactly your stance on certain things and defend your view passionately yet rationally. Stand your ground, yet move towards the other. Be confident in your ideas but never try to persuade the other. In a real conversation, nobody needs to be convinced. There is no truth. None of you is right or wrong. You are just two souls trying to figure out life.

Figuring out life.

This is what motivates me.

What motivates you?